I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize