i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Drunk is not a location!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
