he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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