Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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