Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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