He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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