the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
