she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
