don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
