thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
