i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
