someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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