I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
