Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
