eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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