i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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