it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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