that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
