So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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