It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
