It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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