It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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