"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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