Soap is not a condiment
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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