i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
