after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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