peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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