so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
