Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
