Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
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Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
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I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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