ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You're so nebulous sometimes
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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