The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
