oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
