girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
