She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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