If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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