just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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