Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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