Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
