I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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