I cannot find my penis.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
