are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
