I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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