my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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