some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
