talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
