I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I wish there were birth control emojis
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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