i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
