elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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