I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
