I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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