I think I am morally bankrupt
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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