Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
