That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
