Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
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