So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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