The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
