My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
