do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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