It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
