Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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