just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
