Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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