I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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